


Hearts Adjacent

by abnegative



Category: SEVENTEEN - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 19:16:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14063691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abnegative/pseuds/abnegative
Summary: [complete] "What would you do if I told you I was gay?"Jun sat back and stared at Wonwoo. His next door neighbour. His closest confidant. His best friend."Are you?" He asked him quietly. Why else would he ask that?"Yeah." He said as he turned towards his best friend, trepidation in his brown eyes, his cheeks flushed pink with the cold. "Yeah. I think I am Jun. Do you hate me?"26/11/2017- 24/12/2017SMUT ALERTThis is my own original work I reserve all rights to the content. Do not copy.





	1. Chapter 1

  
 

  
"What would you do if I told you I was gay?"

Jun sat back and stared at Wonwoo. His next door neighbour. His closest confidant. His best friend.

"Are you?" He asked him quietly. Why else would he ask that?

It was a cool day, right on the edge of autumn and winter, and they were hanging out in the courtyard garden at the High School where both were in their final year.

Wonwoo's turtleneck wasn't enough and he shivered a little as his eyes wandered far away, wandering to a time and place only real to himself. He pulled his hands into his sleeves. Sweater paws, Jun thought as he watched him, fucking adorable.

His hair blew back from his face in the wind and Jun watched him take a deep breath in and exhale slowly. "Yeah." He said as he turned towards his best friend, trepidation in his brown eyes, his cheeks flushed pink with the cold. "Yeah. I think I am Jun. Do you hate me?"

Jun shook his head. "You're my best friend. I'd help you hide a body. Remember that time when we were little and you stole all the reward stickers out of the teachers desk?"

He started to laugh. "Yeah. I remember."

"And do you remember hiding them in my pencil case because you didn't want to get in trouble? But I got caught and you wouldn't confess?"

Wonwoo was chuckling now, his eyes scrunched up in delight, the memory funny enough to override his tension.

"Did I hate you then? When you let me take the blame and I had to stay inside at lunch for a whole week?" He shook his head again at him. "I could never hate you."

The relief on Wonwoo's face was palpable. His laughter died and he turned serious. "Thank you Jun. You're the best friend anyone could ever want." He squeezed the other's hand and smiled at him in the saddest way possible. "I couldn't stand to lose you." It came out as barely a whisper.

Gay. His best friend. How did he not notice? Jun laid flat on his back, his bedroom his refuge, staring at the roof. Of course. Wonwoo was stunning looking. He had dark good looks and a coldly aloof persona. He loved reading and books. He was President of the astronomy club and volunteered as a tutor for disadvantaged children. And had never had a girlfriend.

Jun always thought Wonwoo was just a late bloomer. Even though he was the same age as Wonwoo, older by just a matter of weeks, the other always seemed younger, almost childlike, precious and innocent. Girls liked his looks but most were soon put off by his awkward conversation and cold mannerisms. But those were the things about Wonwoo that Jun loved most. They couldn't have been more opposite.

He got up from his bed and went to the window. It was dark outside and he could see straight across the yards into Wonwoo's house. His back porch, his kitchen and his bedroom. The light was on in his room but the sheer curtain was pulled over. He could see straight through it, making out the silhouette of Wonwoo at his desk studying. He was always studying even though he was so smart. Wonwoo was top of his year level. Jun would be lucky to pass.

Jun went back to his bed. Of course he didn't hate him. They had been through so much together. He still remembered the day his family moved in next door. Jun was six and a loner. He was small for his age, he was quiet and cried easily, and he was terrified of this strange new country. He remembered standing in the driveway watching a boy with dark hair and dark eyes watching the removalists. He was clutching a threadbare stuffed monkey.

 

  
"Hi." Jun said quietly as he approached him with reservation.

"Hi. I'm Wonwoo." The other boy replied staring at the removal truck.

"I'm Jun. I'm from China." He watched Wonwoo stare at the truck. "You like trucks?"

Wonwoo shook his head. "No. I like books." He buried his pouted lips into his monkey. "You like trucks?" He turned to Jun.

"No. I like dancing. And flowers." Jun smiled as he replied.

 

  
Ever since that first day they were inseparable.

  
Summers playing under the hose on the back lawn and winters cozied under blankets in Jun's living room. Losing their first teeth, running from bullies, chasing the ice cream truck. Jun didn't have a memory that didn't have Wonwoo intrinsically entwined. They had shared birthdays, holidays, secrets and dreams. They had shared everything.

Jun rolled over and pressed his face into the pillow. He knew he should be studying too but he just didn't have the willpower to force himself tonight. Wonwoo would still be studying. He would be valedictorian and would graduate top of their class. Straight As. Wonwoo wanted to study literature at university, he had plans of becoming a librarian while continuing his studies to get his Masters. Jun just wanted to dance.

He danced with a small hip hop crew and wasn't even sure if he wanted to go to University. He would probably just get a job in a coffee shop and try to make it as a singer and dancer. He had started to pick up a few modelling jobs here and there but it wasn't a serious career path. Jun got up and looked out into Wonwoo's bedroom again. He was gone from the desk. Jun could see him laying on his bed with his head phones on. He knew what he would be listening to. Their favourite idol group, Monsta X, had just put out a new album and Wonwoo was obsessed. So was Jun. He plugged in his own headphones and scrolled through his playlist to find the same album.

The next morning Wonwoo was waiting to walk to school together. Wonwoo was always ready on time, neat and tidy and organised, bag packed and lunch made. Jun had woken up 15 minutes ago and had hastily showered and dressed, grabbing his bag and some cash on the way out, his half dry hair flying wildly around him.

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo sat on the couch in Jun's living room as he watched the daily spectacle of Jun's morning routine. He was used to the habits of his best friend but it still amused him. Jun finally headed to the door, jacket half on with an apple in his mouth, and Wonwoo laughed and hoped he never changed.

As they stepped out into the cold morning breeze and began the ten minute walk to school, like they had done every morning since forever, Wonwoo pulled his cold hands inside his jacket. He looked at Jun, so tall and handsome, so fun and outgoing charismatic, and breathed a sigh of relief. Everything seemed fine. Jun caught Wonwoo staring and flashed his bright smile and Wonwoo smiled back. Everything's normal. Nothing has to change. Wonwoo had been dreading telling Jun for over a year. He knew he had to tell him, Jun had to hear it from his own mouth, if he found out from someone else it would really hurt their friendship.

He smiled to himself as they walked in silence. He hoped that no matter what happened they would stay best friends. Jun was the most important person in his life. He couldn't bear to lose him.

 

 

 

  
"Meet me on the roof at lunch!" Wonwoo called to Jun across the corridor. Jun smiled his acknowledgment. Ever since their first year at High School they had loved to sit out on the roof top with no one else around. Lunch on the roof meant Wonwoo had something important to tell Jun. He wondered what it was.

 

 

Two weeks had passed since Wonwoo's confession. Jun noticed Wonwoo's subtle absence. They still walked to school together, they still studied together after school, they still sent texts at night. Saturday afternoons had always been their time together. Sundays were for family, for studying or hobbies, dance practice or sleeping. Saturdays had turned from cartoons and cookies, into DVDs and popcorn, and now Netflix and coffee as the boys grew up. Sometimes they went to the mall and just walked around or saw a movie. Sometimes they would hang out in the park. But they always spent Saturdays together. Last Saturday, when Jun beckoned to Wonwoo from his bedroom window, he never expected to get a reply by text.

"I'm busy today. Sorry Jun."

Jun couldn't see the front door of Wonwoo's house from his window but he knew he went out. He could tell. He was out all afternoon and it was 11pm when he finally saw a light on in Wonwoo's room. He could see Wonwoo laying on his bed, headphones on, he probably had his eyes closed but he wasn't sleeping. His best friend could tell even from the distance between them.

Jun wondered where he had been all day. Not out with his family. They knew each other's schedules and if it was the astronomy club or tutoring Jun would know. Wonwoo had never hidden things from him. Ever. He admitted to himself that it hurt a little.

  
He would finally get a chance to ask Wonwoo what was going on at lunch on the roof. Jun was supposed to be paying attention to the teacher but his eyes wandered out the window. "Hey. Hey. Earth to Junhui!" He heard a familiar voice behind him. "Hey Minghao." He turned and smiled at the other Chinese boy. Minghao had only been in the country a few months and the school had charged Jun with helping him adjust. He really liked the younger boy, they were taking an advanced dance class together, and he was the only real friend Jun had besides Wonwoo. Jun was popular and well liked. He just was always happy with Wonwoo, and Wonwoo wasn't comfortable meeting new people or hanging out in groups, so it always remained the two of them. Jun liked it that way and so did Wonwoo. They didn't need anyone else.

"What are you thinking about?" Minghao asked. "You were off in another world!" Jun thought carefully before he spoke. "Not much Minghao. I just don't want things to change." Minghao looked puzzled, then changed the subject, his face brightening when he talked about his favourite subject. "Want to come to the dance room at lunch? Hoshi promised to come and help me with some things I've been working on!" His grin was infectious and Jun smiled brightly back at the exotic looking boy with dyed brown hair. "Sorry Minghao. I have to meet Wonwoo. But I'm glad you're making more friends." He ruffled the boys fluffy hair as the bell finally rang. Jun grabbed his backpack and headed for the stairwell.

His long legs took the stairs two at a time as he dashed up the three sets of stairs. He wasn't even tired when he got to the top. Dancing kept his body fit and tight, and it needed to be to get any modelling jobs, so his interests complimented each other well. He pushed open the emergency exit door and blinked in the bright sunlight that invaded his eyes. He saw him, leaning against the wall, looking at his phone with a smile playing softly across his lips.

"Hey Wonwoo!" Jun called out and bounded excitedly to his friend. He grabbed him in a half hug half wrestle and ruffled his hair. "Did you grow?" He joked as the other boy squirmed out of his grasp. "Quit it you loser." Wonwoo laughed. They sat down and got out their lunches and began to eat in companionable silence.

Jun looked sideways at his friend. He seemed uneasy. Jun chewed the last of his sandwich and swallowed. "Want to go to the mall on Saturday? There's a new game out that I want to get. We can eat lunch there and then maybe catch a movie or something?" He turned to Wonwoo who was staring down at his half eaten lunch. He watched Wonwoo wrinkle his nose and pack away his leftovers. "I'm busy Saturday." He said quietly.

Jun felt the hurt building in his chest. "That's what you said last Saturday." He shifted uncomfortably. "Wonwoo. I told you I was fine with this whole 'gay' thing. You don't have to be so weird about it." Wonwoo began to shove his lunchbox and his phone into his bag. "It's not a 'gay thing' Jun. It's who I am. It's not a phase. And I don't just think I'm gay anymore. I know I'm gay." He stood up to leave and began to walk away.

"Wait!" Jun jumped up. They had never fought before. He couldn't let him walk away. He almost tripped over his own bag as he grabbed Wonwoo's arm. "What is wrong with you. I said it's fine. I'm still your best friend whether you're gay or not." Wonwoo stared into his eyes. He realised he must have had a growth spurt as he was now eye to eye with Jun for the first time in a long time.

"I have a boyfriend. Ok? And he's taking me out Saturday." Wonwoo finally blurted out. He shuffled from one foot to the other as a cold wind whipped his dark hair away from his eyes. Jun watched him silently before speaking. "Is that where you were last Saturday?" Wonwoo nodded as he stared at the ground. Jun sighed. "Can't you just be honest with me? I told you I didn't care. Ok? But don't fucking lie to me." "You're not mad?" Wonwoo asked as he turned to Jun and put his head on his shoulder. "No. Just don't bullshit to me." Jun put his arms around his friend and squeezed him tight until he squealed for breath. He said he didn't care but a part of him did. He didn't even know this guys name and he was already taking Wonwoo away from him.

They headed for the stairwell, arm in arm, now desperate to get out of the sudden cold. "So. This boyfriend. Is he nice to you?" Jun asked. "He better be or I'll come after him." Wonwoo smiled at Jun, his eyes filled with a heady mix of happiness and relief, as they entered the building. "Yeah. He's pretty nice. Do you want to come and meet him Saturday?"

 

 

 

  
By Friday Jun had enough of wondering. He had pestered Wonwoo about the identity of this boyfriend of his. He had guessed that it might be the student council president but he was wrong. He speculated that it was the astronomy club's Vice President, or the quiet kid who volunteered in the school library. Every time he guessed Wonwoo would laugh. Finally the guessing got to him. "He doesn't go to this school Jun. You don't know him."

  
But I will tomorrow. Jun thought as he lay flat on his bed. I wonder what he's like. He was going over to Wonwoo's to hang out with them for a while before they went out on their date. Jun imagined a sweet boy, a quiet bookish boy, with similar interests to Wonwoo. A studious boy with his future mapped out. A serious boy who did well at school and made his parents proud.

  
The opposite of me.

  
Jun sighed and put his earphones in. He pushed his bed against the wall and began to dance. He had just enough room to practice at home. Minghao had been bugging him to start joining him in the school dance studio more. He said the kids who hung out in there were cool but Jun knew Wonwoo wouldn't go. He always brushed Minghao off with a casual 'maybe next time' and Minghao always just took it with a happy smile.

He danced his hardest, he danced his frustrations out, he danced until sweat dropped from his hair onto the wooden floor. He wanted to sink onto the bed but he grabbed his towel and went straight into the shower. As he shampooed his hair he wondered if maybe he should dye it. Everyone else seemed to be doing it. Minghao always has different colours and the kids he hung out with in the dance room always looked like a jar of candies.

He wandered out of his bathroom with a towel around his waist and sat on the bed. He grabbed his phone and scrolled through his social media, forgetting he was wet from the shower, his hair dripping a wet patch onto his thick quilt.

 

Wonwoo was nervous. He was more worried about introducing his boyfriend to Jun than to anybody. Even his parents. Because ultimately he was going to grow up, move out, become independent from his parents. He didn't want to outgrow Jun the same way. He looked up from his book and out of his window and into Jun's bedroom. Jun had curtains that he never pulled shut.

He saw him dancing in front of the mirror and wondered idly what music he was dancing to. They really were opposites. Jun was physically confident and moved with the reserved sensuality of a dancer who knew his body well. Wonwoo was clumsy and awkward. Jun was well liked even though his best friend was a social outlier. Wonwoo wished he could live his life with the carefree and aimless joy that Jun exuded. Wonwoo needed a plan, a goal, an incentive. Wonwoo needed the validation of those in authority while Jun couldn't give a shit.

When Wonwoo looked up again Jun was gone. Probably to the shower. Wonwoo knew Jun's routines as well as his own. He knew Jun would come out in just his towel, get distracted by his phone, drip water all over his room before dressing. He tried to go back to his book but he couldn't concentrate. His eyes flicked from the pages to the window until he saw Jun, tall and muscular and shiny wet, clad in his towel walking around his room. Wonwoo watched him sit on his bed with his phone. He watched him laugh at something, probably a dumb meme, his hair dripping water onto his chest.

Finally as Jun got up to find some shorts Wonwoo came to his senses and looked away. I thought he would start closing the curtains once he knew about me. Wonwoo knew he shouldn't be watching him but he couldn't help it. He breathed a sigh of relief when Jun got into bed and out of sight. He willed himself to sleep, he was simultaneously wishing for tomorrow to be over, while hoping it would never come at all.

 

Jun woke early and went through about eleven different outfits. Finally he decided on the first one he tried on. Black skinny jeans and an oversized black sweater and red converse. He didn't know why he cared so much. A part of him wanted this boy, this small and quiet boy he imagined, to be intimidated by him. He was Wonwoo's best friend and no boyfriend was going to replace him. He wanted to meet this boy, look him up and down, make sure he knew that if he hurt Wonwoo there would be trouble.

Finally it was 1pm. Jun headed next door, went through the back gate, and straight into the house without knocking. He could hear Wonwoo's mother in the kitchen and he called out a hello to her as he headed down the corridor to Wonwoo's bedroom.

The door was closed so he called out as he opened it. "Wow." Wonwoo looked him up and down. "You look great. Are you going out this afternoon?" Jun suddenly felt self conscious, and pulled at the hem of his sweater, not wanting Wonwoo to think he had dressed up for this. "Ah, yeah, I'm hanging out with Minghao and some other kids later." Wonwoo's smile danced across his face. He didn't smile that often which made each one precious and Jun smiled back instinctively.

Jun sat on Wonwoo's bed as they chatted. Wonwoo had the new Monsta X album playing in the background as they talked about music and school and everything else but Wonwoo's boyfriend. Finally the subject was broached by Jun. "What time is he coming?" Wonwoo looked at the clock. It said 1:53pm. "2pm." Wonwoo said as he shifted off the bed and began to fuss. Jun watched him fix his hair and spray himself with cologne. He fixed his hair again and looked in the mirror. Jun watched him with a mix of amusement and curiosity. He could see that Wonwoo really wanted to impress the guy.

There was a knock on the door and in he came. All 6ft 2' of him. All tall and smooth and dark haired and handsome. Jun stood up and swallowed thickly as he had to look up slightly to meet his eyes. "Hi." He grinned and showed off a near perfect row of shiny white teeth. His skin was the smooth rich colour of caramel and his eyes were dark and piercing. "I'm Mingyu. Nice to meet you." Jun shook his hand. He looked familiar and Jun wondered where he knew him from. Then it dropped. "You model right?" Mingyu nodded excitedly. "Yep. Sure do!" His voice was slightly to loud for the small room. Jun couldn't tell if he was nervous or just excited. "Wait. Wen Junhui? You're signed to my agency!" He laughed loudly.

"Hey Wonwoo! Your best friend here is my competition for work!" The tall boy turned suddenly and wrapped Wonwoo in a hug. "Better tell him not to steal my jobs. Or I won't have any money to spoil you!" He pouted his lips at Wonwoo who was clearly taken aback by the sudden onslaught of attention. Jun chuckled to himself. The tall boy was an absolute goofball and Wonwoo seemed uncomfortable in the suffocating embrace. Hilarious.

"Well. It was nice meeting you Mingyu. Have a nice date!" Jun smiled as he left the boys alone. As soon as he closed the bedroom door behind him and began to walk out his smile faded. Mingyu? He didn't seem like Wonwoo's type at all. He'd heard about him from gossip around the modelling agency. He had a reputation as a bit of a player. He seemed nice enough, but too loud, and kind of dumb. Not at all what Jun had expected.

As soon as he got home he searched for Minghao's number and text him to see if they could hang out. He was dressed up anyway and he didn't feel like sitting around at home by himself. Especially when Wonwoo was out having fun. Especially when he lied to Wonwoo and said that's what he was doing.

 

 

 

Mingyu held the car door open for Wonwoo. "Thanks." He said without a smile. He got in the car and Mingyu ran around to the other side. As they drove off he could see Jun leaning against the front porch of his house. He was talking on the phone. Wonwoo stared wistfully at his friend as they drove away. "He didn't even complain. Two weeks in a row. We always hang out on Saturdays." Wonwoo commented quietly, almost to himself, as Mingyu eyed him cautiously. "Well what did you expect? He's trying to be supportive. He seems like a really good friend." Mingyu turned his eyes back to the road. "Yeah. He's the best." Wonwoo went back to staring out the car window as they headed towards the mall.

He didn't even care. He just made plans with that Chinese kid that hangs around him all the time. Wonwoo couldn't shake the sick feeling in his stomach. He tried to push Jun out of his mind and focus on his date. Mingyu was gorgeous. Wonwoo was more than shocked when the beautiful tall boy sat down across from him in the coffee shop next to the public library. Wonwoo had just finished tutoring and decided to finish the book he was reading with a flat white in the other hand. Mingyu just sat down and started talking to him. Wonwoo had mostly listened. When the handsome dark haired boy asked for his phone number his curiosity got the better of him. He gave it out and a few flirty texts later they had a date organised.

When Mingyu held his hand on their first date, and Wonwoo felt fluttery anticipation that he had never felt before, he knew he was gay. But as beautiful as Mingyu was, there was something missing, something lacking. Wonwoo accepted Mingyu's offer to be his first boyfriend, to help him navigate the whole range of confusing feelings, to push his limits and learn his boundaries. I need this. He thought as the car pulled up at the mall. When they got out he grabbed Mingyu's hand and squeezed tight and was rewarded with a big toothy grin from the tall boy as they headed inside.

 

 

 

Jun panicked a little as he hit dial. Pick up pick up please pick up..... He didn't want Wonwoo to know he lied to him. He breathed a sigh of relief when Minghao picked up and said that he would meet him at the mall. Jun went back inside and grabbed his wallet and headed for the bus stop. At least he didn't have to sit home and sulk all day.

Minghao was waiting for him, casually leaning on the shop window, dressed like a model as per usual. He always looked great. Minghao had a love of the latest fashion as well as constantly dying his hair.  
They would love him at the agency. Jun thought as he walked towards him. Maybe I should take him in.

They sat in soft silence, comforting in the confusion, an island of solace in the busy mall. Jun sipped his coffee. Minghao had a banana milkshake. "How come you suddenly wanted to hang out?" Minghao asked. Jun always seemed too busy for him on weekends. "If I tell you you CANNOT tell anyone. Ok?" Jun wasn't sure if he should trust him but he needed to get it off his chest. "I promise." Minghao smiled. "Now spill."

Jun went through the whole story. Starting with the revelation of Wonwoo's secret, his lies and avoidance, his apparent abandonment of his childhood friend. "And to make it worse the guy is perfect looking. He's a model. He's tall and slim and dark and handsome." Jun lamented into his coffee. "Sounds like someone I know." Minghao smirked at the other boy's total lack of self awareness. "I thought his boyfriend would be this quiet nerdy guy. But no, he's gorgeous and overexcitable and kind of too loud!" Jun waved his arms wildly as he continued with his story.

Minghao's subdued chuckle turned into a full on giggle as Jun's protests about Wonwoo's boyfriend got louder and more dramatic. Finally he stopped for a breath. "So what should I do? He's stealing my best friend." Jun sank back into his chair. Minghao sucked up the last of his milkshake before speaking. "Sounds to me like you're jealous. You sure he's the one who's gay?" Jun spat his coffee across the table. "I'm not gay. He's my best friend!" He grabbed some tissue and began to wipe up the spilled coffee as he and Minghao both laughed at the disastrous mess.

 

 

 

  
Wonwoo trailed Mingyu through the mall, in and out of clothes shops, while the taller boy chatted animatedly about anything and everything. People turned to see the source of the loud voice, and this combined with Mingyu's tall good looks, made Wonwoo feel small and uncomfortable. He felt like everywhere they went people were looking at them. He had dropped Mingyu's hand long ago.

The amount of bags Mingyu had accumulated rose to 6, and he had tried to push many gifts on Wonwoo, but Wonwoo refused them all. He conceded to allow Mingyu to buy him lunch but as they headed towards the food court Wonwoo was stopped dead in his tracks. There, across the other side, was his best friend having fun with someone else. He could see Jun, arms gesturing and his whole face expressive, clearly invested in his story. He watched the Chinese kid say something to him that was obviously hilarious as Jun spat his coffee all over the table. Wonwoo felt tears fill his eyes as he watched Jun and the other kid, both laughing uncontrollably, try to clean up the sprayed coffee. "I'm not hungry anymore." Wonwoo said quietly. "Can I go home now?" Mingyu looked from the scene across the mall to the sad boy standing next to him. "Sure." He smiled down at Wonwoo, threw a comforting arm around his shoulder, and escorted him to the nearest exit.

 

 

 

  
Jun cleaned up the coffee as he and Minghao laughed. "I swear some came out your nose." Minghao was now giggling as Jun laughed way to loud making people stare. His laughter died when he looked across the food court and saw them. Wonwoo walking along with Mingyu. Mingyu had his arm protectively around Wonwoo's shoulder, Wonwoo was leaning in towards his body, they looked like a perfect pair of boyfriends. Jun looked away quickly. "That's them. Isn't it?" Minghao asked. Jun just nodded. Tears filled his eyes and he didn't even know why. He blinked them back as he stood up. "Come on Minghao. I want to go to the game shop. Then we can go back to my house. I need you to do me a favour."

 

 

 

Wonwoo felt miserable and he didn't even know why. Mingyu had treated him sweetly on their date, he had held his hand and wanted to spoil him, but Wonwoo just wanted it to end. Maybe I'm not gay. He thought to himself. He threw himself on his bed and as he stared at the Monsta X poster on the wall, and his eyes traced the outline of Wonho's thighs in those leather pants, he knew he was kidding himself. I'm so gay. Fuck.

He felt bad for getting Mingyu to cut their date short but the sight of Jun laughing and having fun with someone else was too much. Jun had always been popular and well liked but he had always belonged to Wonwoo. As it grew dark outside it grew dark inside Wonwoo as well. Once the environment matched his mood sufficiently he turned the light off and put his headphones on. He always found comfort in the dark. He was just drifting off to sleep when he saw the light in the room of the house next door switch on. He sat up and moved through the dark room to the window to watch.

He saw Jun come in and throw a few bags onto the bed. Then he realised Jun wasn't alone. He watched the other boy, the exotic and fashionable Minghao, walk across the room. Wonwoo couldn't exactly see what they were doing but they seemed to be sitting very close. Too close. Confusing feelings settled in Wonwoo's mind. Jun and Minghao? Was something going on between them? It couldn't be true. If Jun was gay he would have said something to Wonwoo. Why would he keep that from me?

He sat in the darkness and watched them. They moved to the other side of the room and Wonwoo couldn't see them properly. Then when Jun came back into view his shirt was off. Wonwoo felt sick. Why? It didn't make any sense. Then they were out of view again. Wonwoo moves positions and tried to see what they were doing. He couldn't see Jun's bed from his window because it was still pushed against the wall to make room for him to dance. Were they on the bed?

Wonwoo's eyes searched the window desperately. After what seemed like forever Jun came back into view. Only now he was just in a towel with one around his hair as well. He couldn't see the Chinese kid. Wonwoo's imagination ran wild as he crawled back onto his bed. What were they doing? Why was Jun walking around half naked? Curiosity won out and he got back up and went to the window. He couldn't see anything. Disappointment and relief fought inside his confused mind. Was it better to see nothing or something he didn't want to see?

  
The boys had purchased what they needed and rode the bus back to Jun's house together. Minghao asked him continuously if that's what he really wanted. He needed to make sure Jun was sure. He insisted he was. So Minghao agreed to dye his hair for him. Minghao applied the dye carefully, after insisting Jun took his shirt off, not wanting to ruin any of his clothing. He rinsed the first dye over the sink and reapplied another application of bleach. They joked and chatted about all sorts of things while they waited for the bleach to work. When Minghao decided it was time he sent Jun into the shower with the blue toner and shampoo and went down to wait in the living room.

  
Jun smiled at himself in the mirror. He dressed in some shorts and grabbed a blow dryer and blasted his hair. His previously dark mop of hair was now white. He ran a hand through it in awe. Minghao was a genius. It took two bleaches and a blue toner but it worked and it looked amazing. At least now if he went to the dance studio he would fit in with the other kids in there.

He ran downstairs to find Minghao engaged in conversation with his father about soccer, of all things, and his mother setting places at the dinner table. "Junhui! What have you done to yourself?" His mother clicked her tongue at him in mock disapproval. "Aw don't be like that." Jun laughed as he hugged his mother. "It's my rebellious phase. Plus it looks good. It might get me more work with the agency."

Minghao stayed for dinner and dessert, Jun's mother insisting, and sending him home with her phone number for his mother to call her. "What a nice boy. How long have they been in the country?" She asked Jim after Minghao left. "Not long. A couple of months." Jun replied as he stuffed leftover rice into his mouth. He was pretending to help clean up but actually not really doing much. His mother turned and handed him a cloth to dry the dishes. "Where is Wonwoo today? He hasn't been over here for a few weeks." Jun turned away momentarily and then turned back towards her. "He's got a boyfriend." Jun said quietly. "Oh. Is that a problem for you?" His mother asked as she put her hand on his shoulder. "Only that he's too busy for me now." Jun blinked and threw the cloth down. "Can I go to my room?" "Sure." She called to his already retreating back. She shook her head as he ran down the hall and slammed the door.

Jun threw himself on his bed, then got up, and went over to the window. He looked down into Wonwoo's room but all he saw was darkness. Was he in there? Was he in there with him? Was he alone? Was he awake? Why did he even care so much? He couldn't see the faint glow of Wonwoo's laptop so he thought he must be sleeping.

Jun went back to bed. He rolled over and tried to sleep but a sick feeling knotted his stomach. He closed his eyes and willed the darkness to overtake him but it was a long time coming.

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo was about to open the front door of Jun's house when it flew open. He stepped back in surprise. "You're ready for once!" Then he stared in shock. "Your hair!" Jun felt suddenly shy and smiled as he ran his hand through it. "Do you like it? Minghao did it for me Saturday night." Minghao... Oh, the Chinese kid, Wonwoo deduced. "Yeah it's cool." Wonwoo's face gave nothing away but he couldn't take his eyes off the bright white hair.

Heads turned to stare at Jun they walked into school. Wonwoo watched him walk down the hallway in his casual, self assured manner. He wished he had half Jun's confidence. He looked so good with that white blond hair. "Hey!" Wonwoo called out and as Jun turned he took a photo. "What are you doing?" Jun laughed as he wrestled Wonwoo for his phone, laughing as he held onto the other boy tightly, finally winning and grabbing the phone. Wonwoo pouted and Jun gave in and handed it back. Wonwoo's cute side was so rare but it was irresistible.

As Jun headed out the classroom at lunch he heard Minghao call to him. "Hey Jun! Come to the dance room. Please?" Jun turned towards his friend who was pouting cutely. Unlike Wonwoo, Minghao was well aware of his cuteness, and definitely not afraid to use it. Jun looked from Minghao back to Wonwoo. "Go." Wonwoo said to Jun. "I'm going to the library anyway. Then I want to call Mingyu." The sound of his name was enough. "Ok." Jun said and laughed as Minghao jumped up and down with delight. "Come on Jun!" He said happily, grabbing the older boy by the hand, leading him down the corridor. Wonwoo just watched them walk away.

Jun followed Minghao down to the school's dance studio. He opened the door to a blast of loud hip hop music and two boys giving it their all in front of the huge mirrors. One had dyed bright red hair and cute cheeks which pushed up into his sharply angled eyes. The other had a strong jawline and looked both older and younger than the other boy. Minghao and Jun waited in the doorway until they were done and then walked across the floor. "This is Jun, the guy I was telling you about, he's finally decided to come here!" Minghao dragged Jun across by the hand excitedly. "This is Soonyoung. He's a great dancer and choreographer!" Minghao indicated the red haired boy who smiled at Jun. "And this is Chan. He's our baby." The other boy shook a mop of brown hair in mock rage. "I'm not a baby." He frowned as he shook Jun's hand. "And that's Jihoon. Soonyoung's boyfriend. He might look adorable but he's a savage." Minghao pointed towards a small boy, pink haired and cute looking, with headphones on and his eyes closed. "Hi. I'm Jun. I'm glad I finally came here." Jun smiled at them all. Another song pumped out of the speakers and Jun tossed his jacket on the floor and he and Minghao joined in with their dance.

 

Wonwoo stared at Jun's retreating back with a mixture of sadness and confusion. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and headed for the roof. He broke through the door and into the bright white sunlight. As he sank to the ground against the wall he mulled over the morning. Dying Jun's hair. That explained what he saw them doing through the window. Why they were sitting so close, why Jun was shirtless, why he showered. I knew he couldn't be doing anything with that boy. Jun's not gay. Wonwoo didn't know if he was relieved or disappointed.

He fished his lunchbox out and began to eat his sandwich. He chewed slowly and sadly. It wasn't any fun up here alone. But he had told a lie, about going to the library and calling Mingyu, and now he was alone. He took his phone out and scrolled through the contacts. His finger hovered over 'Mingyu' and then retreated. Wonwoo shoved the phone and his lunch back into his backpack and stood up. He shivered, suddenly cold in the blinding sun, and walked back inside.

He made his way through hallways and corridors, silent in the confusion, alone in the swarm of bodies. He had never been to the dance studio but it was near the library so he knew where it was. He moved silently along the hallway, his feet moving unconsciously, almost instinctively. When he reached the place he heard a heavy beat and he knew. Wonwoo was torn between desire and regret, wanting to see Jun, not wanting to see a world he didn't fit in to. But he walked to the window of glass cut into the heavy wooden door and looked in.

Jun's long thin body and his bright white hair were moving to the heavy bass. His arms flailed both wildly and controlled. His feet moved intricately. His body rolled in a way that made Wonwoo feel hot all over. And when be bent backwards and kicked himself up into an acrobatic walkover his shirt flew up revealing the strong sharp line of abs cut into his stomach. Wonwoo's stomach stirred and fluttered and he chewed his bottom lip as his breath seemed out of reach.

But when the music stopped, and the other boys clapped and hollered their approval, Wonwoo felt sick. Minghao wrapped his arms around Jun and lifted him into the air as the other boys, one red haired and one dark, crowded around still clapping. Tears filled Wonwoo's eyes. This was Jun's world. A world where he could show his talents, be appreciated, he who he really was. All his life, ever since that day when two little boys stood between two yards, watching a moving truck with disinterest Jun had stood by Wonwoo. I'm holding him back from being who he truly is. Wonwoo turned and headed for the library. He had to walk away.

  
Jun felt himself surrounded by the approval of the other boys. They hugged him, cheered him, slapped him on the back. He even got a courteous nod and a dark stare from the grumpy looking boy who still wore his headphones on top of his pink hair. "You'll come back tomorrow?" Soonyoung asked him. "I have a new contemporary piece I'm working on and it will be better with four people." Jun really wanted to but he couldn't get Wonwoo out of his mind. Leaving him alone two lunchtimes in a row? "I'll have to let you know." Jun said as he grabbed his bad. "I've got to go. Thanks for letting me dance!" He waved over his shoulder as he left. There were still a few minutes left of lunch and he hoped to catch Wonwoo in the library.

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo hated early mornings. He wanted to stay in bed forever. It was Saturday so he planned on sleeping until at least lunchtime. He didn't hear the sound of his bedroom door swing open softly or socked feet sneaking across the carpet at 9am.

"Wake up!" Jun said brightly as he jumped on Wonwoo's bed. "Come on. I missed you last weekend. If you're going out with Mingyu later get up and spend time with me!" Wonwoo groaned and his his head under the pillow.

Jun jumped up and threw open the curtain allowing bright light to flood the room. "Come on Wonwoo." Jun whined. Wonwoo shrank further into his soft warm bed. "Don't wanna get up." A voice mumbled from inside the pile of blankets and pillows. "FINE!"  
Jun yelled. He smirked as he moved quietly across the room. He lifted the blanket and slipped into Wonwoo's bed. "Wonwoo." He whined as he moved closer to the other boy. "Get up and play with me." He reached out with his cold fingers and grabbed Wonwoo by the waist. He dug his fingers in and began to tickle. Wonwoo hated being tickled more than anything. He barely accepted it from Jun, definitely not from anyone else, and he growled with mock annoyance as he jumped out of bed.

Jun stared at Wonwoo, shirtless and bed haired, his eyes still bleary with sleep. Wonwoo stared back at him, confused and annoyed, scratching at his head. Wonwoo was not a morning person. Jun began to laugh and Wonwoo glared at him. "What's your problem?" He asked and looked down when Jun indicated his shorts. Ugh. He had the most massive morning boner. Wonwoo went red and stalked into his bathroom leaving Jun still giggling next to his bed.

Wonwoo ran the shower and stripped off his shorts. He stared down at his boner still standing at attention. He held it down while he went to the toilet, making sure to aim carefully, but that didn't make it go away. He stepped into the now hot water and washed his face. He brushed his teeth and sighed in resignation. His dick was still hard. He would have to jerk off.

He began to stroke it slowly and let his mind wander. Visions built in his mind as his pleasure intensified. He thought about Mingyu, tall and handsome, smiling and sweetly kissing his cheek. His mind quickly moved on, filling with visions of Jun, dancing in the studio. He thought of Jun as he jerked himself harder. Jun's new bright white hair flying as he walked down the hall, his lean body rolling and thrusting in time with the music, his hard abs hidden under his school shirt.

He tried to force Jun out of his thoughts, trying to replace him with a vision of Mingyu, but he couldn't get Jun off his mind. He chased his orgasm relentlessly, jerking himself harder and harder, his head pressed against the cold tiles as he thought of Jun in his bed grabbing at him with his cold hands. Jun's warm body in the bed beside him, Jun's hands on his body, Jun's cold fingers melting like ice into his skin. Wonwoo suddenly imagined what it would be like to reach out towards him, to pull Jun's body on top of his, to connect their lips and taste Jun's mouth with his tongue. He pictured Jun hovering over him, sucking at his neck, grinding hard as Wonwoo writhed underneath him. He couldn't help the moans that escaped his mouth as he felt his whole body tense and blew his load all over the tiles. His heavy breathing slowed as his tense body began to relax and he realised what he had done. Jerking off over my best friend while he waits outside in my room. Nice one Wonwoo.

  
Jun rolled onto Wonwoo's bed looking at his phone. He chuckled again as he thought of Wonwoo's problem he woke up with. He looked so cute, with his messy hair and his bare chest, and his tent in his shorts. Jun laughed to himself and wondered when Wonwoo had gotten so muscular. It had been a while since summer, days spent by Jun's pool had revealed Wonwoo to be skinny and hairless, but now he had a fine trail of hair down the middle of his chest. His shoulders were broader than Jun remembered, broader than Jun's own slim physique, and it contrasted nicely with his slim waist. I wish I had such a masculine build. Jun thought.

He rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in Wonwoo's pillow. It smelled of him, clean and soapy and fresh, and Jun inhaled deeply. I wonder what shampoo he uses. He got up and went to the bathroom door, intending to call out and ask him what was taking so long, stopping when he head Wonwoo moaning. Is he jerking off? Jun listened pressed against the door as Wonwoo's soft sensual moans and the smell of his fresh shampoo escaped out from under the door. It made something pull deep inside Jun's stomach, something stirred inside his groin, something manifested inside his mind. The shower turned off abruptly and Jun was surprised out of his thoughts. He jumped back onto the bed and grabbed his phone, groaning internally, he suddenly realised he had just listened to his best friend jerking off and he liked it. What was happening to him?

"Hey." Wonwoo said as he wandered out of his bathroom. He had clean shorts on, his hair was dripping water all over his shoulders, and he smelled amazing. "What do you want to do? Mingyu isn't coming over until 2." He found a black long sleeved tshirt and pulled it over his head as Jun watched him from the bed. "I don't know?" Jun scrambled out of his distraction for an answer. Wonwoo grabbed his laptop and landed backwards on the bed next to Jun. "Want to just watch a movie or something?" He asked, opening Netflix, and searching through the menu. "Okay." Jun said quietly as he laid back on the bed.

Wonwoo settled in next to him after picking out a comedy. He knew Jun liked comedies. He would laugh way too loud, clapping his hands and slapping his legs, and probably knock the laptop off the bed at some point. But Jun's laugh, although noisy, was Wonwoo's favourite noise in the world. He looked at the clock. It was already 10am. They still had 4 hours.

 

 

Mingyu held his hand tentatively over the doorknob. He could hear peals of hysterical laughter coming from inside Wonwoo's room. He knew it wasn't Wonwoo. He opened the door and found Wonwoo and Jun, cozy on the cold day, bundled up in Wonwoo's bed. The room smelled like coffee, Wonwoo's hands were wrapped around a mug, while Jun was hysterical with laughter over whatever they were watching.

"Hi!" Mingyu calked out loudly over the noise of Jun and the movie. "What are you watching?" He walked around to Wonwoo's side of the bed, sat down, and put a possessive arm around the boy's shoulders. Mingyu leaned over and kissed him right on the lips while Jun's laughter hid the fact that he was watching out the corner of his eye. 2pm already? "See ya later." He said as he stood up. "You don't have to go." Wonwoo said quietly but as Jun looked from Wonwoo to Mingyu something told him that he did. "It's cool. I've got things to do anyway. See you guys later." Jun walked out making sure to close the door behind him.

He stepped outside and shivered in the cold air. His body was warm from Wonwoo's bed and the outside air was a shock. He walked across the driveway and back to his own house. It was only 2pm. Now what? He pulled out his phone and dialled Minghao as he walked into his room. He knew if he stayed home he would just end up looking through Wonwoo's window.

 

Mingyu had wanted to go shopping again but Wonwoo was cold. He just wanted to stay warm and watch movies all day. He might have been lured out with an offer to go to the library or the coffee shop but he wasn't in the mood for the noise and confusion of the mall. His mind was still on his confusing feelings from the morning. Besides jerking off over Jun while he was in the shower he also felt a new kind of disappointment when Jun left. They had been having such a great time. They had watched movies ensconced in the warmth of Wonwoo's bed, Jun laughing joyfully, and a little too loud, Wonwoo just enjoying his infectious happiness. Time had flown by and Wonwoo hadn't even realised Mingyu had arrived until he walked in and chased Jun out. When he was gone Wonwoo was left with what could only be described as longing, a vague emptiness, a loneliness even though he wasn't alone.

Mingyu gave in to Wonwoo's laziness and chose an action movie. It was loud and violent and it was giving Wonwoo a headache. He went to the kitchen to make more coffee and when he came back Mingyu was in his bed under the blanket. "It's cold. Come and snuggle me." He held the blanket open. Wonwoo was a little taken aback. They had only been dating a few weeks and Wonwoo was still feeling his way in this new world. They hadn't really gone past hand holding and hugging, and had kissed but not with tongues. Mingyu saw his hesitation. "Come on. I'm not going to do anything. You were happy to get in here with him." Mingyu pouted. "He's my best friend." Wonwoo replied. "I've slept in here with him a thousand times."

He went over and reluctantly got into the bed and Mingyu wrapped him up in a tight hug. It was warm and cozy and suffocating. Wonwoo couldn't breathe. He felt Mingyu's hot breath on his neck and his big hands travelling down to Wonwoo's waist. Mingyu began to kiss Wonwoo's neck gently, softly and carefully, as his hands began to caress his body. "Mingyu." Wonwoo squirmed uncomfortably. "I don't know if I'm ready for this." Mingyu stopped and sat up. "But we've been going out for weeks."

He looked down at Wonwoo, cheeks flushed and eyes shiny with tears, and sighed heavily. "Do you really like me?" He asked Wonwoo. Wonwoo didn't know what to say so he laid in silence while Mingyu continued. "I know I said I would be patient with you, while you found your way a bit, and got used to all this. But I'm not going to be a substitute for him." Wonwoo was confused. "What do you mean 'substitute'?" Mingyu just sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Come on Wonwoo. I'm not stupid. The way you look at him? Your expression every time he walks away? I know you're in love with him." Wonwoo shook his head. "He's my best friend. Im not in love with him Mingyu. And even if I was it wouldn't change anything because Jun isn't gay." I could never have him. I could never make him mine.

Wonwoo reached out a hand towards Mingyu and pulled him back down into the bed. "I just need more time. Ok? This is hard. I'm trying to work things out. Please be patient." The last part was almost a whisper and Mingyu laid back down. They watched the rest of the movie in silence. Wonwoo wondering if he would have let Jun kiss him and touch him if it was him and not Mingyu in his bed. Mingyu wondering how long it would be before Jun took his place.

  
Jun sat around the table at the cafe in the middle of the mall with Minghao, Soonyoung and Jihoon. Minghao's delight could barely be contained as he scrolled through his phone. "She's meeting me at 3:30pm! I can't believe she said yes!" He clutched at his chest while the other three boys cackled at his dramatic display. "Gotta go! Can't keep Na-young waiting! I'm going to take her to the movies!" Minghao jumped up and left, headed in the direction of the northern entrance, he had been building up the nerve to ask the girl out for weeks. The other three boys laughed at his retreating back.

"Um. Can I ask you guys something now he's gone?" Jun stared into his coffee and stirred it for the thousandth time. "Sure." Soonyoung smiled his trademark chipmunk cheeked grin at him. They were still just getting to know each other but Jun was fitting in well with the other dance kids. And having more than one good friend was a new and refreshing experience for Jun. He took a deep breath. "How did you know. That you were gay?" Soonyoung choked a bit on his green tea. It wasn't the question he was expecting. "I just kind of always knew." Soonyoung said. "I've never been interested in girls." Jun looked over at Jihoon who was staring at Soonyoung. "I didn't know. Until Soonyoung confessed to me and then kissed me. He was my best friend and it just felt right." Soonyoung smiled at his small boyfriend who smiled back in a rare display of emotion. The radiance of Jihoon's face as he smiled at Soonyoung was beautiful.

Jun sighed heavily. It was the answer he expected but didn't want to hear. He was scared of things changing but he felt powerless to stop them. Like a wildfire, burning brightly and out of control, something had sparked inside him and it was threatening to burn down everything he knew.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Soonyoung hadn't quit about Jun coming to the studio more often. He was insistent he needed 4 people for his new piece. "Get Jihoon to do it." Jun said. "No. He won't. And anyway he's not nearly as good as you." Soonyoung whispered, looking around, careful to make sure his scary little boyfriend wasn't listening. Jun sighed. He really wanted to do it. "Ok." He gave in. He didn't know how to tell Wonwoo.

He sat next to Wonwoo in biology and chased him down at the end. "Wonwoo! I need a favour! Please!" Jun begged cutely, wringing his hands together, smiling sweetly at his best friend. "What is it?" Wonwoo hated cute. Unless it was on Jun in which case he was a sucker. "Well. Soonyoung, I just met him but he's an amazing choreographer, and he wants me to learn a new piece. He needs 4 people and he really wants me to do it. But I'll have to go to the dance studio at lunch. Like, a lot, nearly every day." Wonwoo's stomach sank. He missed Jun enough as it was. Their Saturdays were gone. Now their lunchtimes were gone as well. But he didn't want to hold him back anymore. It wasn't fair. "It's fine." Wonwoo said as he turned and walked away.

Jun hesitated then ran after him. "Wait. I'm not done." He said, grabbing Wonwoo's arm, and turning the other boy to face him. "You can come too. No one will bug you. They won't even talk to you. You can just sit and watch." Sit and watch. Wonwoo felt hot again and before he knew what was happening the word slipped out of his mouth. "Ok."

"Really?" Jun's mouth dropped open then widened into a smile that made Wonwoo smile too. Jun grabbed the other boy in a huge hug and squeezed him tight. Wonwoo stood in the throng of students, Jun's arms around him, like a sentient island in a tumultuous sea. He closed his eyes and rested his head on Jun's shoulder as he inhaled deeply. "I've missed you." He whispered but in the noise of the school corridor he didn't think Jun even heard him. He wrapped his arms around Jun's waist and hugged him back and it was over too soon. "Meet me outside the library after next class. Ok?" Jun said and he was gone just like that.

Wonwoo stared out the window. He was an excellent student, never usually prone to distractions, especially in History class. It was one of his favourites. But the last few days had been so confusing. Was he in love with Jun? He shook his head absentmindedly and turned back to the teacher but his mind wandered again soon enough. In love. What did it mean? Sure, he wanted to be with Jun as much as he could, they could hang out all day every day and Wonwoo would never get sick of him. But it had always been that way. Wonwoo and Jun, ride or die, ever since they could remember.

But with his new found freedom, and honesty about his sexuality, Wonwoo's mind wandered to places he never before allowed it. Love. A hunger for the other persons touch, a desperation for their warmth beside you, a craving for their attention. It's just a little crush. Wonwoo told himself. It would pass. Before he knew it he had passed a whole lesson staring out the window thinking about Jun. The bell blasted and students jumped to attention, pushing and laughing, all happy for the welcome relief of lunchtime. Wonwoo headed for the library in anticipation. He hated people, especially new people, but the thought of an hour unashamedly watching Jun move his body had been irresistible.

  
Jun waited expectantly, shifting from one foot to the other, hoping Wonwoo would show up. He almost died of shock when he said he would come to the dance studio. Jun never expected it. He also never expected Wonwoo to hug him back. Wonwoo's dislike of physical contact was a long running joke between them. Jun had spent the last 13 years begging, stealing, snatching any affection Wonwoo would give up. Even just a few crumbs of affection was enough for Jun. Wonwoo was like that. He was used to it. But earlier, in the wild and noisy sea of students, Wonwoo had hugged him back and even said he missed him. Jun had heard his gentle whisper, quiet even for the quiet boy, almost intangible but undeniable. Jun knew what he heard.

He looked up to see Wonwoo rushing towards him. "Sorry am I late?" He asked. Jun just shook his head and grinned at him. "Nah. Come on!" He grabbed Wonwoo's arm, a part of him afraid the boy would back out, and led him towards the dance studio.

The door opened to reveal the usual scenario. "Hey!"  
Soonyoung called loudly over the music. "Hey!" Jun pulled Wonwoo along next to him. "This is Wonwoo. That's Soonyoung and Chan and Minghao, they're dancers too, and that's Soonyoung's boyfriend Jihoon." Jun indicated each of the boys in turn and they all smiled, said hello, or waved. Except for Jihoon who barely looked up from his phone. "Hi." Wonwoo said, staring at the ground, anxiety surrounding him like a slowly gathering fog.

Jun sensed his need and grabbed him by the arm. He dragged him over to the corner and put him next to Jihoon. "Jihoon won't talk to you unless he really has something to say. He hates people too." Jun smiled at Wonwoo and the dark haired boy felt it healing his mind. He sank against the wall and felt relaxed again. He side eyed the small boy with the bright hair but the other boy just ignored him. Good. Wonwoo was happy with that.

Soonyoung quickly had the boys learning some intricate choreography as a heavy beat pounded. Wonwoo tried to relax as his own heartbeat fought in competition with the sound system. He watched Jun move his body in ways he had never imagined the other boy could. He couldn't take his eyes off Jun. His white blond hair made his visuals ethereal as he danced, his body rolling, his hips thrusting to the beat. Wonwoo began to sweat. He took off his jacket and took a huge gulp from his water bottle.

Jun never noticed. When he was dancing he couldn't be distracted. Nothing else existed. But Jihoon watched him out the corner of his eye. He watched Wonwoo's eyes following Jun wherever he went. He watched Wonwoo watch Jun dance, the way his attention never wavered, the way his eyes glittered and the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. Jihoon knew where this was headed. He'd been that friend, that oblivious 'straight' best friend, with his best friend hopelessly in love with him. He had given Soonyoung a chance and found happiness. He hoped for Jun's sake he might be able to give Wonwoo that same chance.

 

 

 

Wonwoo spent the next week in a daze. His mind was a confused whirlpool of thoughts and feelings. So many feelings. He woke up early on Saturday morning and all he could think about was Jun. He showered and dressed and went next door. The back door was always unlocked. He slipped in to the quiet house and down the hall to Jun's room. He held his breath before opening the door.

Jun was still asleep. Wonwoo took off his shoes and padded across the floor. He looked down at Jun, curled up, so angelic and so beautiful.....

Wonwoo was overwhelmed with the need to be close to him. He walked around to the other side of the bed and carefully climbed in behind Jun's sleeping body. Jun had done the same thing to him the week before. Why couldn't he do it back? He held his breath as he moved closer to Jun. He could feel the warmth radiating from his body. Wonwoo was mesmerised by the gentle rise and fall of his chest. Suddenly every nerve ending in his body was on fire with a desperate need for the other boy. He wanted to wrap his arms around Jun and never let him go.

Guilt overwhelmed him. Creeping on his best friend, sneaking into his bed, watching him sleep like a weirdo. What is wrong with you? Wonwoo shifted his weight about to get up when Jun opened his eyes. When he saw Wonwoo in his bed he broke out into a sleepy smile. "Hey Wonwoo." He mumbled and threw his arm over the other boy. He shifted closer to Wonwoo as he gripped his tshirt and Wonwoo was too scared to move. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't even think straight.

In that moment all he wanted to do was lay still and wish for it to never end.

"Why are you here so early?" Jun mumbled into Wonwoo's chest. It was cold and he was drawn to the innate warmth created between their bodies. Wonwoo, still stiff and terrified, managed to squeeze out the words. "I just wanted some time with you." It was honest. If nothing else he could at least offer Jun some honesty.

"Wait here." Jun smiled softly at his best friend as he seperated from him and climbed out of the bed . He grabbed some clean sweatpants and headed to the bathroom. Wonwoo grabbed the Xbox controller and turned the machine on. The big tv on the wall lit up and Wonwoo wondered why they always seemed to end up in his bed watching Netflix on the laptop when Jun had the big tv. He scrolled through the menu, mulling over some things he thought Jun would like, when the other boy returned. His hair still wet from his shower, two mugs of coffee in his hands, dressed only in a pair of grey sweatpants.

"Here." His smile again. Wonwoo felt like he could drown in it. He took the offered mug of coffee but he couldn't take his eyes off Jun's body. A hot feeling ran up the back of his neck as his gaze was transfixed by Jun's smooth chest, his narrow waist, and his hard abs. He didn't realise he was still staring until Jun snapped him out of it. "Hey! Are you okay?" Jun asked and Wonwoo nodded. But inside he knew he wasn't. He was in love with him.

  
Jun knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help it. He was desperate for Wonwoo's attention, he needed it, he craved it. His dreams had been answered when he woke up and found Wonwoo in his bed. Wonwoo never gave out affection but Jun instinctively reached for him. He didn't know what made him bury his face in Wonwoo's chest but he did it and he wasn't sorry because it was the best feeling in the world.

He knew he should've put a shirt on but he wanted Wonwoo to see him. He wanted his body to flash in Wonwoo's mind when he was letting Mingyu kiss him and touch him and roll on top of him. Jun explained his feelings away as jealousy. He wasn't in love with Wonwoo, he wasn't attracted to him, it was pure jealousy. He didn't want Mingyu to have his best friend. Not his body, not his mind, not his heart. Wonwoo was his.

  
His plan backfired. One minute Wonwoo was there staring at his abs and then the next minute he was leaving. "Wait. Where are you going?" Jun grasped desperately at his words, trying to fix it, trying to make him stay. But Wonwoo was already at the door. "Sorry Jun. I forgot. I'm supposed to be somewhere else." All Jun saw was Wonwoo's retreating back. Jun flopped back on his bed in sadness. Shit. What have I done? His stupid attempt to capture Wonwoo's attention had totally backfired. He groaned and hid his face in the pillow. He'd probably just ruined their friendship forever.

Wonwoo ran out of Jun's house and across the yards into his own. He ran all the way into his room as slammed the door shut. His back against the wall, he sank to the floor, tears streaming down his face. Why didn't he realise it before? He was in love. He was so in love with Jun that it hurt to realise it. His smile that melted Wonwoo into a mess. His hard body that made new and unfamiliar feelings burn inside Wonwoo's body. Everything about him, the way he laughed too loud at movies, the way he cared about dancing and nothing else, even the way five year old Jun pouted and used his cuteness to win Wonwoo over all those years ago.

Why? Why did he have to walk around like that? His hard body, those low slung sweatpants, his dripping wet hair. Tears filled Wonwoo's eyes as he palmed at his dick through his jeans. He gave up almost straight away. There wouldn't be any satisfaction for him today. He felt too bad, too weak, too inadequate. He didn't know what he was going to do. He had to save their friendship. He had to get over Jun and get him off his mind. There was only one thing he could think of doing.

When Mingyu walked in to Wonwoo's room at exactly 2pm he found Wonwoo waiting in his bed. Wonwoo smiled and beckoned him to join him. It was the only thing he could think of. Mingyu slid under the covers next to Wonwoo. "What are you doing?" He asked quietly. "I want you to try kissing me. Please." Wonwoo whispered as he pulled the tall boy on top of him.

 

As soon as it hit 2pm Jun went to the window. He knew he shouldn't but he did it anyway. He felt like a part of his life was spiralling out of control. He went to the window and looked down into Wonwoo's room. He immediately wished he hadn't.

Jun could see them. They were still clothed, but they were in Wonwoo's bed, the blanket covering the lower half of their bodies. They were kissing. He could see Mingyu on top of him. On top of Wonwoo. His Wonwoo was underneath that other boy, letting him kiss him and touch him, and love him. Tears filled Jun's eyes. He felt sick. He wanted to run over there and pull Mingyu off him, he couldn't stand the idea of that boy on top of his best friend, his body grinding against him.

Wonwoo hated being touched. He didn't like physical affection, from anyone, he never had.

  
He must really be in love with Mingyu to let him touch him like that.

  
It hurt. It hurt like a knife in the chest, like a punch to the stomach, like a blow to the head. Wonwoo in love with that other boy. Why did it hurt so much?

  
Because you're in love with him you dumb shit.

  
Jun allowed a conscious realisation to take over. He wasn't just jealous, he wasn't just selfish, he was in love. With his best friend. And he had ruined it. He scared him off, not thinking straight, coming on way too strong. He could never compete with Mingyu anyway. The guy was tall and handsome and perfect. And as he looked down into Wonwoo's room at the boy underneath Mingyu, the boy he loved being loved by someone else, Jun began to cry.

He couldn't watch any more. He felt sick. He had to get out. He grabbed his phone and called Minghao as he scrambled to get out of the house. As he waited for Minghao to pick up the phone he began to walk, needing to escape his emotional prison, desperate for someone to talk to. He headed on foot in the direction of the mall.

 

Wonwoo's eyes were clenched closed. He didn't dare to open them. Mingyu had willingly climbed into his bed and put his hands on his body. Wonwoo clenched his eyes shut and let his mind wander. Mingyu pecked small kisses on his jawbone and then his lips. When they lingered, then opened, Mingyu's tongue danced across Wonwoo's soft lips. Wonwoo parted his lips just enough to allow entry and Mingyu's tongue swept inside his mouth. His tongue was sweet but insistent and Wonwoo couldn't give in to the feeling. His first real kiss and it just made him feel empty. He had never felt more alone.

Mingyu released his lips and kissed down his neck. As his kisses got lower and more insistent Mingyu's hands travelled up the inside of Wonwoo's shirt. Wonwoo wanted to pull away but visions of Jun flooded his mind. Jun in those grey sweatpants. Jun dancing slowly to a heavy beat. Jun shirtless with his white-blond hair that made him look ethereal. He imagined Jun's hands on his body. Jun's mouth on his skin. Wonwoo's imagination conjured an image of bare chests pressed together, of his hands pulling at strands of blond hair, of Jun's sensual hips grinding against his as they kissed. A soft moan escaped his throat as he imagined that it was Jun, not Mingyu, on top of him. Mingyu took it as encouragement, his hands and his lips and his tongue grew more insistent, but when Wonwoo came back to reality he just wanted it to end.

It wasn't right. Even when his imagination wandered it wasn't right. He knew it would be different if it was Jun. Jun's hands would feel different, his kisses would be different, Jun would sound different and smell different and taste different. Two tears spilled from his closed eyes and he sat up and opened them.

"I can't. I'm sorry." Was all he could manage to say as he shied away from Mingyu's touch. Mingyu frowned. "I can't do this any more. I like you Wonwoo but this is too hard. I'll always be second best and I'm never going to be happy with that." He got out of the bed and grabbed his things. "Are we breaking up?" Wonwoo asked quietly. He couldn't even look up at him. "Yeah." Mingyu smiled sadly at the boy in the bed. "I guess we are." He turned and left Wonwoo's room and didn't look back. He didn't even say goodbye.

Wonwoo curled up in his bed and cried. Not for Mingyu. He liked him and Mingyu had been good to him while they were together but his tears were for Jun. He wanted the impossible. He wanted it so bad it hurt. He didn't know how he was ever going to look Jun in the eye ever again. Wonwoo decided he would have to push his feelings down, way down, deep inside himself. As much as they hurt he would have to hide them or he would lose him. Even if he couldn't have him, even if he had to love him in secret and from afar, it was better than nothing. Wonwoo just needed Jun in his life.

 

  
Jun sat in the cafe and stirred his coffee. He had, embarrassingly, sobbed without explanation down the phone to Minghao who said to meet him at the mall. He came with reinforcements. Jihoon, Soonyoung and Chan surrounded him. "What is going on?" Minghao demanded. "You need to spill, and right now, because Chan and I have a double date in like 20 minutes."

Jun let it all out. Wonwoo's confession, his tall and handsome boyfriend, his change in priorities. Jun's jealousy, his feelings of abandonment, his stupid attempt to win back Wonwoo's attention, what he saw through the window. Finally his realisation. "I think I'm in love with him." The boys all stared at him in silent surprise. Soonyoung went to him and rubbed his back. "It will be fine. You're best friends. He won't want to lose you. You can make this right."  
"How do I do that?" Jun asked, his eyes glittering with the unspilled tears, he would never cry at the mall. "Just apologise. Just tell him you're sorry and that you understand he needs time with his boyfriend. Tell him you didn't mean to freak him out." Chan nodded. This all seemed like good advice. "Thanks guys." Jun smiled at them thinly.

Jihoon looked at the four of them around the table and started laughing. "Are you guys stupid or something?" He managed to gasp as he laughed. "It's not funny Jihoon." Soonyoung shot Jun an apologetic look and Jihoon an angry one. Jun was too shocked the boy spoke to be offended. Jihoon continued to chuckle. "Of course it is. It's hilarious. Are you all too thick to see?" He turned to Jun. "He's totally in love with you. I've seen the way he looks at you. It's the same way Soonyoung used to look at me." Soonyoung blushed as Jihoon squeezed his hand under the table. "Go after him. He'll drop this Mingyu guy as soon as he finds out you have feelings for him." Jun sat in surprise. "Are you sure?" He had already made a fool of himself once today. He couldn't do it again. "Don't be a pussy." Jihoon smirked. "Go to his house, walk right in and grab that Mingyu guy, and tell him to get the fuck off your man!"

 

 

Jun missed the bus. He left the other boys at the mall, Minghao and Chan off to meet up with girls, Soonyoung and Jihoon lost in their own world. He shoved his hands in his pockets and pulled his hood over his head.

Of course it started to rain.

He didn't care.

Was Jihoon right? Did Wonwoo have feelings for him? If he asked him, if he confessed his own passionate and confusing feelings, he might lose him forever. If he didn't, if he kept them bottled up inside, he might never have a chance at love.

The rain hid his tear stained cheeks as he walked with his head down. It suited his mood. He was soaked through and started to shiver. By the time he got home he was shaking, his whole body stiff, frozen like ice. He had to do it now before he lost his nerve. He had decided this couldn't go on.

'Don't be a pussy.'

Jihoon was right. He had been weak, scared, too frightened to face his true feelings. He stopped outside Wonwoo's house and decided to go in. Mingyu would probably beat the shit out of him but he felt like even that would be okay. At least it would be a distraction from the gnawing pain in his chest.

He slipped into Wonwoo's house through the back door. The whole building was shrouded in a heavy silence. Wonwoo's parents were probably out. He tossed his soaked shoes and socks off next to the door and crept down the corridor to Wonwoo's room. He held his breath, listening intently, but he couldn't hear a thing.

What if they were doing something? Something intimate?

Jun couldn't bring himself to even think of Wonwoo in his bed, warm and naked, doing the kind of things the other boys joked about all the time.

Its now or never. His hand reached for the door known and turned and the door creaked open.

  
Wonwoo had cocooned himself in the bed covers. He couldn't even turn on the laptop. His eyes were still puffy and tired from crying but he stopped ages ago. He was cried out. Exhausted, physically and emotionally, he was just drifting off into an uneasy doze when he heard his bedroom door creak. Was it Mingyu, come back to say he changed his mind, was it his Mum coming to say dinners ready? The figure that slipped in through the open door was tall and ethereal with white-blond hair. He was also soaked and shivering.

"Jun?" Wonwoo managed to croak out His voice was hoarse and uneasy. He never expected Jun to come after he ran away from him just this morning. "Hi Wonwoo." Jun's attempt at a sunny greeting couldn't mask his chattering teeth. Wonwoo knew there was a reason he had come. And he knew it was time to take a chance. It was now or never.

When Wonwoo sat up he saw how wet Jun was. "Why have you been out in the rain?" He asked. Jun just stood in the middle of the room shivering and chattering and dripping. Wonwoo got up and began to peel the wet clothes off the other boy's body. He unzipped the wet hoodie and let it fall to the floor. He put his hands under Jun's soaked tshirt and pulled it over his head. His eyes, once shy and skittish, now only knew an unashamed hunger. He allowed them to linger across Jun's bare chest, he held his breath as they wandered down to Jun's abs, they travelled down to the thin strip of hair around Jun's bellybutton. "I'm sorry I ran out on you today." Wonwoo whispered as his hands worked the zip on Jun's pants and they fell to the floor.

Jun couldn't believe what was happening. He stood sentient, still and silent, as he allowed Wonwoo to strip his wet clothes off. He didn't know what to do. He thought that any wrong move, any wrong word, and this magical moment would be over. He let Wonwoo strip him down to his boxers and lead him towards the bed. He climbed into Wonwoo's bed and felt Wonwoo climb in next to him. As Wonwoo wrapped his arms around him and pressed their bodies close, the warmth of Wonwoo's body flooded into Jun, and his shaking intensified before slowing and then stopping.

Suddenly he realised it was real. He was nestled in Wonwoo's arms, his head on the other boy's chest, one of Wonwoo's hands making small circles on his bare back. His fears dissipated. It felt so right. He was sure, one hundred percent sure, that he had to take this chance. He leaned up so he could see Wonwoo's face and inhaled sharply when he saw the other boy's puffy eyes. "Wonwoo. What's wrong?" Wonwoo looked away. "Mingyu and I broke up." Jun's stomach somersaulted. "Are you okay?" Jun asked. Wonwoo shook his head as he sat up. "No I'm not okay. I haven't been ok for a long time." He didn't elaborate. He closed his eyes and looked away. Jun could see his internal struggle written all over his face.

"Why him? Why not me?" Jun blurted out, the words tumbling unexpectedly from his mouth, catching both himself and Wonwoo by surprise. "What do you mean?" Wonwoo asked, his eyes cast down, his fingers distractedly picking at a thread in the blanket. Jun wasn't sure what he meant. He had so many feelings burning inside him that they were just spilling out. "Why him? What's so good about him?" Jun's voice turned from sad to small. "Why couldn't you let me love you instead?" He had already gone too far. There was no turning back now. Jun reached out and twisted his long thin fingers with Wonwoo's and squeezed his hand tight.

"Do you?" Wonwoo asked softly. He looked up and Jun nodded. Jun waited for the reaction. The one he got was unexpected. Wonwoo crawled closer to him, pushing himself against Jun's cold body, his arms finding their way around Jun's waist. "Since when?" He whispered. "Since forever." Jun answered quietly.

 

 

Wonwoo couldn't believe it was really happening. He was in his bed, warm and happy, Jun in his arms. Not just Jun, almost naked Jun, Jun dressed in just boxers. Wonwoo felt a heat burning within him. An uneasy hunger shifted in his stomach. Jun's head was resting on Wonwoo's chest, moving steadily with the rise and fall, probably fully aware of how fast Wonwoo's heart was beating.

The boy who shied away from touch, who felt awkward with any kind of physical contact, felt something within him come to life. He pressed his face into Jun's white-blond hair and inhaled. He smelled so good, like soap and fresh linen, and it felt right. "Jun." Wonwoo said quietly and when Jun lifted his head to look at him he made his move. He wound his fingers in the hair he had been admiring from afar and pulled Jun towards him. Their lips met in a gentle kiss and Wonwoo thought he was going to melt. He knew it. He knew it would feel right.

 

Jun couldn't believe it was really happening. His Wonwoo was really his. He was holding him and kissing him. Jun leaned up into the kiss and pushed his tongue in and felt Wonwoo's tongue respond. The kiss quickly got more intense, more needy and sloppy, it was everything Jun had imagined and more. He rolled his whole body on top of Wonwoo, his instincts telling him to go further, his hands beginning to wander. But he stopped and sat up. Wonwoo was flushed beneath him, breathless and sweaty, and so gorgeous.

But they had to talk.

Jun went first. "Wonwoo, I know we've probably gone past the point of no return, but please promise me no matter what happens you'll always be my best friend." Wonwoo was still under him, pink cheeked, nodding his head. "I promise." Jun kept talking.

"Why did you break up with Mingyu? I saw you guys in here before. I saw what you were doing." Jun was suddenly hit with the realisation that just hours earlier Wonwoo was right here under Mingyu. How far did they go? He felt uneasy and moved off Wonwoo. The other boy sat up and breathed deeply before he spoke.

"Mingyu broke up with me. I can't blame him. It was my fault. Whenever I was with him I was just wishing it was you instead and he could tell." Tears filled his eyes again. "I didn't know how to tell you how much I wanted you. I was scared. Scared you would hate me. Scared our friendship would be over." Jun reached out for his trembling hand and squeezed it tight. Wonwoo squeezed it back. "This morning when I was in your bed, and you were walking around in just those grey sweatpants, I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted you so bad. I thought if I let him touch me it might change my feelings." Wonwoo's feelings were pouring out of him like never before.

"I'm sorry. About this morning." Jun stared down at their entwined fingers. "I was sick of him taking all your attention. I wanted you all for myself. I wanted you to look at me the way you looked at him." Jun waited for Wonwoo to get upset. But he just laid his head on Jun's shoulder. "I could never look at you they way I looked at him. Because I didn't love him." Wonwoo looked up at Jun, his eyes full of hope and expectation, shining in the fading light of the bedroom. "But I do love you." The last sentence escaped Wonwoo's mouth as a whisper, barely there, but Jun heard it. He followed the whisper with a kiss and when Wonwoo's lips met his Jun's whole body tingled. He loved Wonwoo so much. Being allowed to be this close was intoxicating. Jun was overdosing on Wonwoo's affection.

Their kiss turned from gentle to fierce to needy. Wonwoo had laid back down and pulled Jun on top of him. As they kissed Jun allowed his hands to wander and explore, he felt Wonwoo's hair, stroked his face and caressed his neck. He was suddenly very aware of how close he was to being naked. His hands slid up inside Wonwoo's shirt and he felt the other boy shift to pull the shirt off over his head. Bare skin met bare skin and it was everything Jun had hoped for. Jun was hungry for Wonwoo, he had him all to himself, and he was going to feel and touch and taste all of him. But not today.

"Wonwoo." Jun mumbled into Wonwoo's neck as his hands roamed his bare chest. "I really want this. But I think we need some time." Wonwoo bit his bottom lip, through carefully, then nodded. Jun was right. This was moving way too fast. He sat up and then got out of the bed. Wonwoo rummaged in his closet and came out with a clean tshirt for Jun and put his own back on. "What do we do now?" Jun asked as he pulled the shirt over his head. "Netflix?" Wonwoo suggested and they both laughed.

Wonwoo made coffee and returned to his room. Jun had fixed up the bed and was laying back, laptop on, ready for Wonwoo to join him. Wonwoo smiled at the scene. It was perfect. It had everything he had ever wanted. He passed the coffee over to Jun and put his own down on the bedside table. "Can I ask you something Jun?" Wonwoo asked. "Anything." He smiled at Wonwoo. "Was there ever anything between you and that Minghao kid?" Jun started laughing. "I'm not his type." "Oh." Wonwoo picked up his coffee and took a sip. "He's got a girlfriend. She's cute. Not as cute as me, but hey, some people have no taste." Jun laughed and Wonwoo did as well. Jun savoured every second of it. So elusive, so rare, and so precious. He decided Wonwoo needed to laugh more and he was just the person to make it happen.

"My turn to ask a question." Jun turned to Wonwoo who nodded. "How far did you go with Mingyu?" "I thought you were watching us from your window. Creep!" Wonwoo laughed again and Jun wanted to melt. "I kind of ran away before I really saw anything." Jun admitted. "Then I cried down the phone to Minghao. Who fobbed me off to Jihoon and Soonyoung." "Aw." Wonwoo stroked his cheek. "Well the truth is Mingyu and I didn't go as far as we just did."

Jun smirked to himself as he settled into Wonwoo's body. He was between his legs, back pressed against his chest, warm and happy. And he had won. Wonwoo was his.

 

 

Jihoon watched the boys walking towards the dance studio with a satisfied expression. They weren't holding hands or touching at all but something had changed. He could tell. He nudged Soonyoung and smiled and the other boy smiled back as they opened up the room and walked in.

"Hey!" An excessively cheerful Jun called out to the other boys. "Hope you don't mind but Wonwoo wanted to come and watch again!" Wonwoo looked around at the smirkingly satisfied faces grinning at them, went red, and headed to the far side where Jihoon was encased in a hoodie and headphones. When Jihoon saw him coming he took his headphones off. "Are they always like that?" Wonwoo asked. "Yep. 24/7." Jihoon rolled his eyes.

"You can thank me now." Jihoon said to a confused Wonwoo. "He didn't tell you? If he listened to those fools he never would have went back to you on Saturday afternoon. So you can thank me." Wonwoo smiled down at his hands as he distractedly twisted the hem of his hoodie. "Thanks." He whispered. "He really cares. He was absolutely cut up on Saturday. Just go easy on him. I know how it feels to be thrown into feelings you haven't dealt with yet." "Thanks Jihoon." Wonwoo said. "If you've got any advice I'd be glad to hear it." Jihoon smirked. "Make sure you use a lot of lube." Wonwoo went red from his ears down to his toes. He retreated inside his hoodie.

But as he watched Jun dance he was reminded of his attraction to the beautiful boy. His feelings were deep, he had a genuine love for him, but he also craved a physical connection. The way he moved was intoxicating. He knew Jun would be reluctant. He would just have to be patient. Surprisingly, Jihoon gave good advice, and Wonwoo was grateful for it. Also he would have to go to the mall. "Jihoon." He whispered softly without looking up. "Where do you buy lube?"

  
Nothing else had really changed between them. They sat out on the roof and ate their lunch, the comfortable silence between them reassuring, the quiet company relaxing. It was so easy to be together. Jun wanted to skip the dance studio, he needed some time with Wonwoo, he craved for his undivided attention. Jun smiled as he watched Wonwoo chew his sandwich. He had always been a messy eater. When the boy finally swallowed Jun leaned over and wiped a few crumbs away from Wonwoo's lips with his thumb. His face lingered close, he wanted to kiss him so bad, but he was still unsure. He didn't know how much was too much for Wonwoo and he didn't want to scare him off or make him uncomfortable. Jun never imagined himself to be the clingy type but it took all his self control to refrain from constantly touching Wonwoo.

He looked away and moved back to his original position, sitting against the wall, as close as he could get to Wonwoo without touching him. He failed to notice the slight waver of disappointment on the other boy's face. "So. Exams are coming up." Jun began nervously. "I know you are always busy during the week, with the astronomy club, and studying, but I was kind of hoping we could maybe study together a bit?" Jun knew he was clutching at straws but he was just desperate to get more time with Wonwoo. "Maybe Friday night? And you could sleep over if you wanted to?" Jun shuffled awkwardly as he packed his lunch mess back into his bag. "That's only if you want to." The last sentence was barely a whisper.

"I want to!" Wonwoo said quickly, a little too quickly, and cringed. Shit. He didn't want to seem to eager. Too late. He looked up at Jun who was blushing from the tips of his ears. Jun held his hand out, and when Wonwoo took it, he pulled him into his arms. Kiss me. Please. Was all Wonwoo could think. He thought Jun was going to before, with the crumbs, and the wiping. But Jun had pulled away at the last minute. This time Wonwoo moved into Jun's body and ran his fingers through the white blond hair he had grown so attached to. Jun's dark roots were showing through but Wonwoo hoped he kept it.

They stood eye to eye on the roof of the school with only the sky above them. And finally, when Wonwoo thought he was out of luck, Jun leaned in and kissed him. With the cold breeze accentuating the warmth between their bodies Wonwoo and Jun's lips melted into each other. It was better than Saturday, in the heat of their heightened emotions, this was relaxed and fun and perfect. Hunger burned inside Wonwoo, desire ignited like a flame, as he gripped Jun's hair and pushed his tongue inside his mouth. He wanted to have patience, to let Jun take the lead, but he was just taking too long. He had never known Jun, bright and bold and outgoing Jun, to be so timid. The more of Jun's mouth he tasted the more he wanted and with one hand in Jun's hair and the other on his waist he kissed him like it was his last chance on earth.

Jun was taken aback by Wonwoo's boldness. His Wonwoo, the boy who didn't enjoy close contact, the boy who needed personal space, was kissing him with a desire that Jun could feel through his whole body. Jun matched his passion and they kissed until they broke apart, breathless, desperate for oxygen. "I've been dying to do that all day." Jun whispered as his swollen lips turned up into a soft smile. "Me too." Wonwoo smiled back at him with his hand still wound in Jun's blond locks. They both began to laugh.

"Why didn't you!" Jun said as he chuckled. "Um, I don't know, just trying not to force myself onto my formerly 'straight' best friend." Wonwoo's laugh was hearty and deep and Jun's favourite sound in the world. "Why didn't you?" Jun blushed and stared at the ground. "Well, you've never been big on physical affection, so I just didn't want to be clingy." It was Wonwoo's turn to blush. "Yeah but this is different." He said quietly. "I want you to be clingy." Jun grabbed him and squeezed his body tight, his arms around Wonwoo's waist, making the boy squeal for air. "You'll regret saying that!" Jun cried out as Wonwoo slipped from his grasp and ran across the roof, laughing in the cold winter sun, with Jun giggling and chasing after him. Wonwoo allowed himself to be caught and just as they were drowning in another slow burning kiss the bell rang. Lunch was over.

 

• Smut ahead •

 

Friday was going to be the day. Wonwoo had decided. He wasn't going to let Jun get away this time. He wasn't going to take his reluctance, trepidation or excuses. He had everything planned.

Jun had asked him to sleep over and after pestering Jihoon for advice the short boy had given in and taken him to lunch.

"Come to the dance studio!" Jun had called across the corridor. Wonwoo shook his head. He gestured for Jun to go with Soonyoung as he walked away with Jihoon. "What's up with them?" Soonyoung asked as Jun just shrugged.

  
Jun poured over the biology textbook. As he studied the reading material Wonwoo studied him. Jun was at his desk, dilligently working away at his homework, while Wonwoo reclined on Jun's bed. Wonwoo watched him, etching every inch of his chiseled features into his mind, savouring his furrowed expression. "Wonwoo do you know the answer to question 4?" He turned to see Wonwoo fixated on him. Something was different about his expression. Jun blushed unconsciously when he saw the other boy watching him so intently.

Wonwoo swallowed his fear and tried his best to sound confident. "Come over here and I'll show you the answer." He ignored the hot feeling that grew across his cheeks. Something flickered in Jun's eyes before he moved onto his bed. Wonwoo tossed his textbook aside and reached out for Jun, pulling him on top of him, capturing his plump lips in a slow burning kiss. As the kiss intensified Wonwoo slipped down from the pillows, his hands entwining in Jun's blond locks, pulling the boy closer onto his body.

This was it. He wasn't going to let him back out. Wonwoo wanted Jun so bad, he wanted to know his secrets and explore his body and see all the parts of him that no one else could see. He wanted a piece of Jun that was all for him and only him. And he wasn't waiting any longer.

Jun was shocked by the aggressiveness of Wonwoo's kisses. He had wanted this so bad, now it was actually happening, and Wonwoo was the one making all the moves. He had been so scared to reach out, all his kisses tentative and his embraces apologetic, but he abandoned all self consciousness and began to devour the boy underneath him. Days, weeks, months, even years of supressed feelings and hidden emotions came to life inside him. His tongue searched for Wonwoo's and as he explored every inch of Wonwoo's mouth his hips began to grind. His body rolled insistently as he moved his mouth down to Wonwoo's neck. His erection was straining in his pants, he thrust it hard against Wonwoo, desperate for any kind of friction. Wonwoo let out a moan as Jun sucked at the soft skin of his neck and Jun knew this was it. He was going to make Wonwoo his and only his. There was no turning back now.

Wonwoo was lost in a living fantasy. As Jun hovered over him, kissing him, tasting him, it was just as he imagined. Jun sucked at a sensitive spot on his neck and he moaned. He was too turned on to care. This was not the time for self conscious trepidation. This was a time for reckless abandonment. He opened his legs wide and allowed Jun easier access to grind their crotches together. He could feel the urgency in Jun's movements and he wasn't scared. He was ready to give himself, all of himself, everything he had. He wanted to give it all to Jun.

Jun ran his hands up the inside of Wonwoo's shirt and as the boy lifted his back off the mattress the shirt was thrown to the floor. Jun removed his own shirt and as he kneeled between Wonwoo's legs he smiled and admired the body of his best friend. His hands traced Wonwoo's chest and stomach and soon his mouth followed his hands. As he filled his mouth with Wonwoo's skin he felt the other arch underneath him. He kissed down to the band of Wonwoo's pants and grabbed at the fabric. He pulled Wonwoo's pants and boxers down exposing him completely in the dying afternoon sun. Before Wonwoo had a chance to be embarrassed Jun gripped Wonwoo's erection and traced the tip with his tongue.

  
Wonwoo moaned again. He was glad Jun's parents were out. He couldn't keep it in. He gasped and gripped at the bedsheets as Jun took the entire length in his mouth and began to suck. Wonwoo's hips moved with a life of their own and as all sense of control left him he began to confess all that he held inside him. "Jun." He gasped. "That feels so good." His hips bucked off the bed and he heard Jun gag. He stroked Jun's hair as the boy worked his mouth harder and faster. "Aaahhh Jun. Mmmmm..." He just couldn't keep quiet. "God it feels good. Jun I'm so sorry. I jerked off in the shower while I imagined this." He gasped for breath again. "And it's even better than I imagined."

Jun worked his mouth harder as he heard Wonwoo's desperate confession. He sucked until he knew the boy was right on the edge and then he stopped and moved back up to his neck. "I heard you." He breathed into Wonwoo's ear. "I listened to you through the door. I heard you jerking off and I liked it." He bit down hard on Wonwoo's neck causing the other to moan again, louder this time, the sinful sounds coming courtesy of Jun's sinful actions.

"My schoolbag." Wonwoo said and Jun leaned down over the side of the bed. He opened the pocket and found the bottle of lube that Wonwoo had secured and secreted. He handed it to Wonwoo who handed it back to him. "I want you to do it. I want you to make me yours. Please Jun." Wonwoo took a deep breath as he opened his legs wide.

Jun stared at him for a split second before coming to understand. He shrank quickly out of his own pants and underwear and exposed his own erection to the cool air. He was so hard but he had also been kind of nervous. He had just assumed Wonwoo would want to be on top. He opened the bottle and poured lube all over his hand. He ran his fingers up and down the inside of Wonwoo's ass crack as he pumped his own erect cock with his other hand. He lingered around Wonwoo's entrance before gently inserting one finger.

Wonwoo breathed out slowly. It wasn't so bad. Jihoon had warned him that it might not feel great at first but it would get better. He relaxed as he got used to the feeling and then Jun inserted a second finger. He clenched his eyes closed, it was painful but a good pain, not terrible. He began to get used to the feeling of two, hitching his breath as Jun's fingers explored every inch they could reach.

"More lube." Wonwoo whispered as Jun's fingers thrust inside him. Jun reached for the bottle and upended it, squirting lube all over Wonwoo's ass crack, throwing it to the side as he reached for Wonwoo's hard leaking cock. "You sure you want this?" Jun whispered and Wonwoo opened his eyes. As he stared into Jun's, eyes he had looked at a million times before, never truly seeing until now, he nodded. Yes. He was ready. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Jun lined his cock up and pushed. It eased in and once he was fully buried inside Wonwoo he dipped his head and kissed him. He could feel Wonwoo trembling underneath his kiss. "Open your eyes." He whispered as he began to slowly thrust. "I want you to see me." Wonwoo compiled. He opened his eyes and stared into Jun's as he tried to relax. Jun shifted his position so he could grasp Wonwoo's erection and he began to pump his fist in time with his hips. Wonwoo's eyes fixed on his as he began to make noises of pleasure, of enjoyment and satisfaction, and Jun began to relax as well. He wanted it to be good. He wanted it to be so good Wonwoo would never look at anyone else ever again.

Wonwoo was drowning in a combination of pain and pleasure. As Jun jerked him off he began to moan his enjoyment, ecstasy coiling in his stomach, winding up like a a tension filled spring. He couldn't hold it any more. He finally broke Jun's gaze and clenched his eyes shut. He threw his head back as his pleasure reached his peak and he came into Jun's hand, filling the space between them with his hot load, calling Jun's name between heavy gasps.

It was enough for Jun to come undone. Wonwoo thrusting hard against his hand and calling his name as he came sent Jun over the edge. "I want to come inside you." He whispered as he bent down to taste Wonwoo's lips. Wonwoo just nodded and Jun thrust wildly, then messily, then as he came he slowed. As he rode out his orgasm he sucked the soft spot on Wonwoo's neck where became his shoulder. Wonwoo arched underneath him and a giggle escaped Jun's lips. He had done it. He had made Wonwoo his. Now he just had to keep him. Forever.

 

 

Jun waited for the results to be posted. When they were he wasn't surprised. He had barely passed. But he would graduate and stand beside Wonwoo as they left this stage of their lives behind. Wonwoo graduated top of the class and that wasn't a surprise either. Straight As. Jun was proud. His boyfriend was so smart.

Wonwoo had been accepted to the best University in the city on a full scholarship. Jun had applied to a smaller University with a strong arts program and was surprised when he got accepted. Soonyoung had been accepted too as well as Minghao. Jihoon and Chan had another year of high school. Things were changing. Hopefully not too much.

On their last day of school they walked out together. They would come back in a few days for their graduation ceremony. After that they were going travelling for a few weeks as a gift from their parents. Two best friends off on an adventure. Jun wanted to tell his parents about them when they came back. Wonwoo wasn't so sure.

They got takeaway coffees and walked in the sun. Jun slipped his free hand inside Wonwoo's and they wandered across the park, no one talking, just companionable silence. They sat on a bench and sipped their coffees slowly. There was nothing to rush for. They had their whole lives waiting for them.

Jun wondered how they ended up here. The sun was out and the weather had turned warmer again but Wonwoo still pulled his hands inside his sleeves. Sweater paws. Jun thought. Just one of a million reasons to love him.

As he leaned his head on Wonwoo's shoulder the words came back to him.

 

"What would you do if I told you I was gay?"

 

 

"I'd ask you to fall in love with me. I'd ask you to at least give me a chance."

 

But in the end he got his chance. His chance to make Wonwoo fall in love with him. A chance at happiness with his best friend. And it couldn't be more perfect.

 

the end

 

 

 


End file.
